@United Air hasn't heard of internet, makes me pay twice for my own ticket, #EpicFail

The following is an excerpt from an e-mail I sent to United Airlines:



Dear Customer Service People,


I am a customer and I need servicing, because I am unhappy with your company. Let me tell you two things you have done.

#1. Completely failed at using technology

About nine or ten months ago, I was bumped from an overbooked flight and issued paper vouchers with a face value of $400. I was under the impression at the time that the paper was just a receipt and an electronic copy would be e-mailed to me, for actual use with booking.

Much to my surprise, no e-mail, or online frequent flyer record existed. So I called your customer service line to look up the record of the voucher for me. This is how the conversation went:

Service Rep: "I'm sorry. I can't look that information up for you. You have to go to a ticketing counter in person."

Me: "Have you heard of the internet?"

Service Rep: "The internet?"

Me: "Yes. Apparently, it's comprised of a series of tubes that little dump trucks drive through carrying information. You can be anywhere in the world and get the data you need."

Service Rep: "Yes, I've heard of the internet."

So despite his familiarity with the internet, he was unable to look up my voucher number. He also kept putting me on hold, saying he'd be back in two to three minutes, and then took 20 minutes at a time to get back to me.

Now, I happened to be flying in a few days, and I thought, maybe I can settle the issue in person at the ticketing gate, as suggested. You know what they said at ticketing?

"We can't do that here. You need to call customer service."

#2. Took advantage of my misfortune

So I missed a flight. Mea culpa. This happens. As it turned out, there were no other empty seats for United Flights to my destination that day. For the privilege of flying standby, which I remind you, IS WAITING AROUND TO SEE IF EVERYONE SHOWS UP, they were going to charge me $75. I managed to get a flight for a reasonable price (especially last minute) on Jet Blue.

I returned to the ticket counter to try and sort out the business with #1, above. The people at the counter told me that not using my outbound flight canceled my return flight and they would need to charge me additional fees to make me RE-BUY MY OWN FLIGHT.

I'm not really given to cursing, but in this case I think I'll make an exception. ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME? YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME PAY EXTRA TO STAY ON MY OWN GODDAMNED FLIGHT THAT I ALREADY PAID FOR?

I hope you're ashamed of yourselves.

Ways you can make this up to me:

#1. If it weren't for the technological fail with your customer service reps on the phone, I would have had the information to apply my vouchers to the flight. I would like to retroactively apply the vouchers; you reimburse me for the full cost of the tickets and deduct my vouchers the appropriate amounts.

#2. Say sorry like you mean it.


Also, I will take this opportunity to say that the great thing about America is that it's my money and I can do what I want with it. Like buy tickets on other air lines from here on out. Good luck.


Sincerely,
A very unhappy customer


I haven't heard back from United yet