@United Airlines, Part II: Through the Pipes and Back

So as a follow on to last week's post, I've continued my correspondence with United Air. Here's the latest:

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Kimberly,

In response to your email, I have compiled a brief list of things I can do on the internet. But first, a refresher on what you said.

"The travel certificates you received upon giving up your seat can not be redeemed online. The terms and conditions should have accompanied the certificates; I'm sorry you did not realize they had to be redeemed by mail or in person. Furthermore, our Customer Service agent should have been able to book your reservation then issue the ticket using your certificates instead of referring you to reservations. I regret you did not receive the service you deserve."

And here is the list of things I can do on the internet that I compiled for you:

1. diagnose medical conditions
2. order pizza
3. achieve sexual gratification
4. make restaurant reservations
5. get screwed over by Ticketmaster
6. watch movies
7. ordain myself as a minister

Although the list is far from complete, you'll note that nowhere on it does it include the redemption of United Air travel vouchers. Frankly, I'm shocked.

Now, in response to my e-mail, you did issue me a "good will electronic certificate." While I appreciate your attempt to appease me with a $100 voucher, I must point out the irony that in response to my complaint that I could not redeem my $400 vouchers over the internet, YOU ISSUED ME A VOUCHER THAT WAS REDEEMABLE OVER THE INTERNET.

Seeing as you have this power, I would like to propose a deal:

1. You go in person (or take care of it by mail, if it's more convenient for you) to cancel my original $400 paper voucher, that I remind you, was issued because you sold more tickets than there were seats available on the plane.

2. Re-Issue the $400 voucher to me electronically.

Also, in your response, you sort of glossed over the fact that charging $75 to fly standby is pretty much a douche-bag move.


Thanks,


Sam F.

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Dear Mr. F.,

I am sorry you continue to be disappointed with United. I understand how frustrating your experience was, and I truly wish that we could undo the circumstances you experienced. The travel certificate was intended as a gesture of goodwill. While I understand you do not feel it is meaningful given your circumstances, I hope you will accept it in the spirit in which we have intended.

I can not reissue your paper travel certificates for electronic ones unless you mail the actual paper travel certificates to Customer Care. Should you decide to do so, the mailing address is:

United Airlines Customer Care
PO Box 66100
Chicago IL 60666

Please include your reference number: [########] with your correspondence. Once we receive them we will issue an electronic certificate for you.

We recognize you have a choice of airlines, and we thank you for choosing to fly with United thus far.

Regards,

Kimberly N.
United Airlines Customer Relation

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Dear Kimberly,

I'm sorry I've created some confusion.  I cannot "mail the actual paper travel certificates to customer care", because in this information age, I assumed the corporeal form of my flight vouchers was redundant to the data in your servers, and unnecessary.  As such, I no longer have physical travel certificates, hence the reason for this whole mess.

You'll see below a picture I drew for you of what I remember the paper voucher looking like.  If it's suitable, I will mail this to United Customer Care.  However, given the fact that you have electronic mail, and you were able to give me a "good will electronic certificate", I thought we could skip that step and you could just service me as a customer and give me an electronic voucher.

In case you don't have the technology to view the embedded picture, here is the relevant information, which I remind you, was obtained only after a lengthy, drawn out process, following a poor performance by your customer service hotline, followed in turn by another disappointing performance by your agents at the ticketing gate, and finally, only when I spoke, in person, to an agent's boss's boss, was resolved.

Here is the info:

Passenger Name: Samuel F.
Flight: United 0578
Date: Oct 11, 2010
Doc ID: 0164043951369
Full File Num: U253945
US$ Amount: 400

Please advise as to how to proceed.

Regards,

Sam F.